“How can I tell when I’m feeling someone’s energy, and not just feeling what I expect to feel?” Tiffany asked me. “If I expect to feel inflammation, how can I know if I’m really feeling the energy of their body, and not just remembering how inflammation energy feels?”
It’s tricky. If you’re only working from your own experience of energy — if you can’t get objective confirmation of what you’re sensing — then there’s no way to be certain that you’re really feeling the energy.
Normally we get objective confirmation from the energy games. But with shelter-in-place, we can’t get together to play. Is there anything you can do all on your own?
Yes, there is. In fact, learning to listen for energy is something you primarily do on your own. The energy games can show you what to work on, and they can let you confirm that you’ve learned the skill. But like most energy skills, actually learning the skills to listen for energy is something that must be done alone, with your attention focused on your own energy.
Today, I want to share some of the ways I developed my ability to listen for energy.
The first and most central skill in listening for energy is quieting your own energy. We’ve covered it here, here, and here.
This post assumes you are comfortable making your energy quiet and receptive, and are focused on how to listen and not just sense what you expect to sense.
How to practice listening for energy
Simply: Practice listening.
Try to sense energy, in a person or a piece of fruit or whatever you like. But don’t stay focused on the energy you’re reading. Start reading the energy, but then tune in to yourself, and ask, “Am I listening or projecting?”
Make this a habit. Ask yourself regularly, “Am I listening or projecting?” Don’t just immediately answer. Take a moment, tune in, and notice how you feel. There is a distinct feel to listening for energy. Once you learn that feeling, everything gets easier.
How does it feel? A softness and gentleness and receptivity in my mind. A waiting, a holding all options open. Allowing the sense of energy to enter your senses.
This is why I say that, once you learn sensory connections, you will stop visualizing energy. Visualizing is about imagining what you expect or want to happen, and projecting it into your unconscious and into the world. Which is the opposite of what we want.
We want to listen, to receive. Not project.
I don’t know how long I practiced this before it was comfortable for me. I never sat down and allocated time to do this alone, but I made it a habit to do this whenever I worked with energy. It took years for it to become automatic. But you don’t have to be perfect. You can practice and become better, and that’s what matters.
The game won’t teach you this. The game will tell you whether you’ve learned it, will tell you when you are doing it and when you are not. But learning to do this doesn’t come from playing the game, it comes from sitting by yourself and feeling energy and holding your mind in a receptive state.
Do that while you are sheltering in place, then play the game when you get out.
One more tip
Projecting is fast and easy. Listening is slow and effortful. If you get an instant sense of the person’s energy, you’re probably guessing and projecting your expectations.
But remember, just because something took time and effort doesn’t mean you were listening. That’s necessary, but not sufficient.