Have you ever felt overwhelmed at a party or in a crowd? Or disconnected from your spouse or partner, even when nothing was wrong?
This post will teach you to open and close your energy boundary. It lets you control how much energy you’re getting from the people around you, whether you want less energy from a crowd or more energy from someone you love.
Note that the word energy has many meanings. This technique is about opening and closing your chi. It won’t help if the party is too loud or the crowd is bumping into you, or if your spouse is stressed and distracted from work.
But chi can affect us in subtle ways, even without our conscious awareness. And learning to open and close your chi gives you another tool to handle overwhelm and disconnect, and a way to address this subtle, often-missed aspect of those experiences.
Finding your Energy Boundary
Before you can open or close your energy boundary, you first need to feel your energy boundary. (Or at least visualize it.)
Start by feeling the energy your energy inside your body. Notice how it is fully, solidly yours.
Now feel the portion of your energy that extends outside your body. It’s still your energy, but less solid, more malleable.
Try to feel the boundary between the two, at your skin (or just outside it), where your energy emanates from your body. This is also where other energy enters your body.
Within that boundary are openings that energy flows through. We’re going to be opening and closing these “energetic pores.”
You may be able to feel these different parts of your energy body and your energy pores. If so, use that feeling to do these exercises. If not, visualize the energy inside your body, the energy outside it, and the pores it flows through. Remember, visualization is a conversation between yourself and your unconscious to engage your energy, so trust your intuition on how many pores to visualize, where they are on your body, and what they look like.
Fighting Overwhelm: Closing Your Energy
Go to one pore (by feel or visualization) and think about squeezing down on it, like you would squeeze down on a fist. Notice how that feels.
Find a second pore. Squeeze down on it, too, so the energy can’t flow through it. Take a moment to feel it close.
Move to a third pore. Squeeze down on it, too.
Now that you’ve closed three of them, think about squeezing down on all your energy pores everywhere on your body.
This is your fully closed state. If you’re at a party and feeling overwhelmed, try closing your energy like this. (It won’t help with the music or social side, but it can help to block the chi.) You can also use this if you’re downtown and don’t want to pick up the energy of everyone around you. Take a moment to notice how it feels to have your energy closed.
Feeling Your Loved Ones: Opening Your Energy
Next, let’s open your energy. Return to that first pore (by feel or visualization) and think about opening it all the way up, so energy can easily flow through it. Notice how that feels.
Go to the second pore. Open it all the way, too, so the energy can easily enter and leave your body. Take a moment to feel it open.
Move to the third pore. Open it, too.
As before, now that you’ve opened three of them, think about opening all your energy pores everywhere on your body.
This is your fully open state. If you’re with a partner and want to feel their energy, try opening like this. And if you want to be as receptive as possible with energy games, try opening like this, too. But I wouldn’t recommend opening like this while you’re walking around the mall.
Take a moment to notice how it feels to have your energy fully open.
My Default State: Half-Open Energy
There’s a third state: Half-open. Go to that first pore and think about squeezing down on it halfway, like holding someone’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Notice how that feels.
Go to the second pore. Squeeze it halfway closed, too, so the energy can still enter and leave your body, but with some resistance. Take a moment to feel it.
Move to the third pore. Close it halfway, too.
As before, now that you’ve half-closed three of them, think about gently squeezing down on all your energy pores everywhere on your body.
This is my default state: Open to energy, but not fully open. Allowing a bit of energy to enter or leave my body, but only a bit. Take a moment to notice how it feels to have your energy half-open.
Intentionally Choosing Your Boundary
Decide how open you want your energy boundary to be right now, and use the skills you learned in this post to open or close it.
As you go through your day, think about your energy boundary. Is it open, half-open, or closed? What energy is around you, and do you want to feel that energy? Do you want more or less of it? Experiment with all three states, and decide which is best for you in different circumstances.